


heartbeats and pulses

by imstephtacular



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluffy Angst, Gen, OT3, Zilo - Freeform, hand holding, lilo, zilo friend ot3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1606619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imstephtacular/pseuds/imstephtacular
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam, Louis, and Zayn are an inseparable trio until Zayn goes missing one afternoon...</p>
            </blockquote>





	heartbeats and pulses

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly just fluffy Lilo feels with some Zayn/Zilo angst. The Zilo is friendship-y. I'm apparently on a Lilo kick and I can't ever resist Zayn so

“Ay, you know where Z is?” Louis asks, vaguely, between mouthfuls of a grilled cheese sandwich he and Liam have been sharing. He’s got a drippy strand of cheese dangling off his lip that compliments the crumbs Liam’s accumulated in the patches of his facial hair. The two have been so lost in such blissful gluttony, they’ve barely noticed Zayn’s absence. The three of them are usually inseparable, but there’s always a decent chance he’s off napping. But now Louis begins searching their massive hotel suite with his eyes, knowing that Hazza and Niall are out at the shops. 

“Dunno, mate,” Liam replies, swiping the back of his hand across his lips and creating a bigger mess of sandwich remnants in front of him. “Said he was going out a bit ago,” Liam shrugs, reaching for a napkin and passing another to Louis. 

“Huh,” Louis mutters. Brushing himself off, he stands and starts surveying the room with more urgency suddenly, slipping his phone out of his pocket to check the time. “Wasn’t that hours ago?”

Liam clears his throat and joins Louis in the hunt for Zayn. “Yeah, guess it was,” Liam rubs the soft thatch of fuzz atop his head and twists his mouth into a pout. Zayn never ventures out alone unless he needs a private place to call his mum or when he’s in one of his rare moods when he wants to smoke without company. Liam and Louis silently agree to split up to search the immense layout of rooms, Louis starting in the bedrooms, Liam heading towards the bathroom and hallway with several useless extra closets and spare rooms. 

Ten minutes later, and no closer to locating Zayn, Louis and Liam meet back up in the dining area. “If I were Zayn, where would I be?” Louis asks, screwing his face into a hard look of concentration, his perfect hair drooping across his forehead. 

“Bed. Smoking. Smoking in bed?” Liam tries, trying to remain serious, but cracking a crinkled smirk nevertheless. 

Louis shoves Liam’s shoulder, a bit too roughly, but manages a small laugh, too, at the ridiculous thought of Zayn lighting up under the sheets right now and thinking nobody would notice. “This is serious, mate! I don’t know why, but something…something doesn’t feel right…”

Liam nods, solemnly, understanding Louis exactly. Ever since Louis asked where Zayn was, Liam had begun to feel an uneasy sense of doom, like the three of them are linked somehow and Zayn’s absence is pulling apart the synapses inside each of them, slowly and painfully and destructively. 

“‘sides, I already checked his bedroom and he’s not there. Did you check outside?” Louis suggests, already wheeling towards the plate-glass door to their balcony. Liam shakes his head, following on Louis’ heels towards the light.

Louis flings open the door, with such unexpected brute force, nearly snapping it off its hinges, and whips his head from side to side, tossing his hair about, creating an even more difficult situation in this frantic search. Liam is leaning over his shoulder, so as not to get in the way of a Louis mission, peering around as sidekick to Louis’ lead. “Zayn?” Louis shouts, growing hysterical. “Zayn?”

“Zayn?” Liam chimes in, pushing his shoulders and chest past Louis in the door frame and fumbling onto the balcony. “Z?”

Liam cranes his neck, the veins beginning to throb and pulse with the stress of the scene. The balcony isn’t that big, but Louis continues to pace the small area and repeat Zayn’s name until his face burns a shade of coral. 

“Lou!” Liam yelps, scrambling over to grab him and drag him to the opposite side of the balcony. “Look. Down.” Liam snatches Louis’ hand and points it in the direction of their fire escape, hanging rusty and unstable below. “Z!” Liam shouts, rasping. Zayn’s small frame is curled into itself, like he’s napping or cold. He’s in a pair of worn-in jeans, Louis’ t-shirt, feet bare. “Zayn! Why isn’t he answering, Lou?” Liam panics. 

Louis attempts to even his breathing, but it still comes out in shaky stutters. “I don’t know, Li,” he growls, confused and worried and feeling helpless. “ZAYN!” he shouts once more, hoping to grab his attention with a strangled shriek. They are met with more silence. “I…I don’t think he’s okay, Li,” Louis whispers, choked, tears stinging the creases of his eyes. 

Liam’s frozen, his hand gripping Louis’ forearm. He tries to speak, but the words dissolve deep in the pit of his stomach before even reaching his throat. 

“We have to help him. Somehow,” Louis manages, cupping his hand over Liam’s, his eyes full with fear and something almost like courage. Liam can only nod in submission.

Louis checks anxiously for a way down to Zayn, knowing Zayn must have gotten there somehow. He spots a narrow ladder off the side of the balcony and pulls on it to judge how much weight it can hold. “Thing’s decently sturdy,” Louis explains because there’s not much else to say. Liam nods again, mouthing words he wants to say, but leaving the air hollow between them. “Alright, spot me, I’m going down,” Louis signals to Liam, who splits into an inappropriate smile at the comment before quickly steeling himself into focus. 

“You’re not just going to go without me, are you?” Liam finally utters, scrunching his face into a firm frown. “We’re in this together. For Zayn.” The words come out more intensely and honestly than Liam expects and he flushes. 

Louis sighs heavily, jutting his chin out. “Alright, you’re right. Together,” he nods quickly. “Spot me first and I’ll help you down after.”

Louis begins to climb down the ladder, his face turned up to Liam, childlike and wild and afraid. A silent agreement passes between them, fleeting, and Louis descends, checking behind him every other step and glancing back at Liam in the beats between. He finds his footing on the metal grating below and peers up at Liam, whose round cherub face is eager and terrified. Louis reaches his hand up to graze the bottom of Liam’s shoe as he begins his descent. Louis tries not to stare at the pockets of Liam’s jeans, splitting his vision between Liam’s approaching form and Zayn’s body only feet away. Once Liam is safely grounded next to him, he reaches his hand out to clutch Louis’, mismatched heartbeats thumping a chaotic rhythm, but finding a parallel cadence the longer they cling together. They inhale in unison and shuffle towards Zayn, careful not to shake the fire escape, willing it not to creak or worse— collapse— under their combined weight. “Zayn,” Louis tries, managing barely a whisper. He steps forward, only a foot or two, Liam attached to him, unwavering. Louis reaches out to Zayn, brushing his fingertips against his cheek. “Zayn, babe, Zayn,” he attempts again, patting his shoulder, gently then with more force. Zayn begins to stir and groans escape his lips. 

“Zayn!” Liam yelps suddenly, shaking Louis from the shock and volume, crouching down to Zayn’s level. Louis does the same and they’re all huddled into the farthest corner of the small space, voices suddenly hushed and hurried. “Zayn, mate, what happened? Are you okay? We’re here, we’re here, we’re here,” Louis’ and Liam’s words tangle together and echo around them. 

“Yeh, yeh, I’m….I’m fi-…” Zayn tries, exhaling languidly, sounding too exhausted to speak. 

“Let’s get him up,” Liam suggests, squatting deeper, reaching around Zayn’s back and hooking his arms underneath. “I’ll take his arms, you take his legs,” Liam directs, suddenly taking charge and leading Louis. Louis does what he’s told and awkwardly hugs himself around Zayn’s legs, crouching and lifting the best he can manage in the cramped quarters. Zayn’s half-empty pack of cigarettes spills onto the ground, but none of them reaches to retrieve it. They carry him towards the small ladder, hoisting him to standing. “Zayn, love, can you stand?” Liam asks gently. He and Louis exchange a quick look, knowing it will be nearly impossible to get Zayn up if they have to carry him like a child. Zayn grunts something inaudible, but flutters his eyes open, leaning back onto the wrungs, supporting his weak limbs against the cool metal. “Yeh, just…give….me…a….mo’” Zayn breathes. He heaves a heavy inhale and his entire chest looks like it’s working overtime. Louis and Liam trade another look, worried and silently devising a plan. 

“Just breathe, Z,” Louis instructs calmly, taking control again. “In. And out. Slowly, steady.” His voice still breaks and shakes, but he knows he has to be strong for Zayn. For Liam. For all of them. He and Liam are still flanking Zayn as he leans against the ladder. Louis inches closer to Liam, just barely, and stretches out his fingertips, hoping to meet Liam’s wrist to steady him. Liam meets him halfway, clasping their hands together instead and squeezing, little pulses that seem to say it’s alright, we can do this together. 

Zayn starts to regain his normal pattern of breathing and his eyes begin to fade from glassy back to rich, shiny gold. Moments later, he’s staring at Louis and Liam, blinking wildly, flexing the muscles in his limbs, rolling his shoulders and neck. “Wha…what happened?”

“We…were hoping you could tell us,” Liam replies, clinging harder to Louis’ hand, pulling the pair of them closer to Zayn. 

“Found you down here, mate, curled in a ball, not speaking or breathing much, yeh.” Louis explains, keeping the anger in his voice at bay. “How did you get down here?”

Zayn looks around, taking in his surroundings, spying the pack of cigarettes behind them. “I think I took a smoke break down here and, I…I’ve never passed out before. Never,” he drops his voice lower, hanging his head. “Never, I swear.”

Louis and Liam exchange another of their exclusive looks. If Zayn had a secret, they would know. Or so they thought. Something twists inside Liam’s gut and Louis can feel it, mirrored in the hitches in his chest. 

“Z, what are you talking about, mate?” Louis asks cautiously, motioning for him to sit down as he and Liam do the same, all three of them lowering, slowly, to the grated floor.

Zayn relaxes against the metal bars, curling his knees into his chest. “I’ve been getting these…headaches, lately.” Zayn starts, blowing out a breath. Louis opens his mouth to lecture, but Liam squeezes his hand, delicately, and Zayn continues. “They weren’t all ‘at bad, at first. But they’ve gotten worse. Mum says they’re stress,” he shrugs. “Only thing seems to help is a bit of a smoke out here in the sun,” he gestures. “Found this spot, thought it was right cozy and just a bit away from….everything.”

Liam is listening intently, while Louis nods along, eyes narrowed even as he tries to stay patient. 

“Guess the heat got to me today, yeh?” Zayn picks absently at a string on his jeans, cheeks flushing in shame. “I’m…sorry.”

Liam can tell Louis is about to pounce and chastise Zayn and Liam knows he’s going to regret that immediately. Liam clears his throat, pinches Louis’ fingers once more, and speaks before Louis has the chance. “Just wish you would have told us,” Liam says, offering a half smile. “We’re your best mates, Z.” Liam extends his opposite hand to grasp Zayn’s fingers in his, linking the three of them together. He can suddenly feel a tiny shudder, like a miniature strike of lightning shared and passed between their three bodies. 

“Yeh, I know,” Zayn squirms, guilt painting his face. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“And we did anyways,” Louis replies, trying to remain measured, but straining. “We were worried sick!” he continues, abandoning all attempts to give Zayn an easy go at it. “Weren’t we, Li?”

Caught in the middle, Liam simply replies, “Yes, yes we were. And now you’re okay and we are all talking and everything will be alright.” He’s always been good at keeping the peace. He can feel those nerves in their bodies fusing back together and he knows Zayn and Louis can feel them, too.

“You’re always saving me,” Zayn murmurs, bowing his head, joining his free hand to Louis’, their bodies forming a circle. He sends a pulse from one hand to Louis’, a beat that travels through their hands like a jolt to their systems, circling back to Zayn’s a moment later with a surge. 

“Because we love you,” Liam and Louis manage to hum almost in unison. Zayn smiles, timidly, and sends the pulse through their hands once more. 

“Love you too. Lou,” he nods to Louis, “Li,” he nods to Liam. They all crack bashful smiles and end up folded in on each other, an overlapping hug, swelling with the energy that only they share. Zayn starts planting kisses on limbs, heads, shoulders, fingertips and they all burst into giggles, boys once again.

“Never do that to us again, though, you twat!” Louis snickers, coming up for air, swatting at Zayn’s quiff. 

“I shan’t, I promise,” Zayn smirks, holding up his pinky for reassurance. Liam smacks it away, chuckling. “Although, maybe you two should save me more often,” Zayn raises his eyebrows, noticing that Liam’s and Louis’ hands have found each other again in the chaos of their tangled limbs. “Seems you’re a good match.” Louis and Liam exchange yet another of their private glances, blushing, before squeezing their hands together once more and grinning from ear to ear.


End file.
